Wanted: ability to focus

I posted this last year, but this is a perfect picture of my day today. Except for the part about changing a diaper.  Strike that part. Already served my time doing diaper duty.


If You Give A Mom A Muffin
Original Author Unknown
If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she'll find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
When she puts the laundry in the washer,
She'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan for supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook ("101 Things To Do With a Pound of Hamburger").
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The check book is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
She'll smell something funny.
She'll change the two year old's diaper.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember she wants to phone a friend for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
And chances are...
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

home again, home again

We're back from our mini-vacation to Charleston.  It was a great few days and more on that later.

We came home last night to find one of our largest fish - Manny - had been pretty badly beaten up by another fish - Dempsey. It was then that I discovered how completely opposite my view of the fish is from my kids'. While he was still 1/2 alive - I was ready to just bury him in the backyard. (He's too big to flush I think).  The kids were devastated and after Jacob's tears and screams of "DADDY DON'T LET HIM DIE. SAVE HIM. HE'S SOOOO SPECIAL" I decided burying him may not be such a good idea.

Kyle separated the two fish and all is well again in the aquarium.

Today it's back to reality. And  by reality I mean still being in pajamas at 10:05 am and probably not having a shower today due to all the housework/errands/homeschooling/grocery shopping I have to do.

It's a glamorous life, but someone has to do it.

She's leavin' on a jet plane.....

This is what is happening in my home this morning:

and this:

She actually did walk out the back door and through the gate onto the driveway. Then declared,"Okay. I changed my mind. I guess I'll stay here." Then she cleaned up her stuff and went about her day.

I read this poem this morning and loved it so much I have to share.

Approach, my soul, the mercy seat,

Where Jesus answers prayer;

There humbly fall before his feet,

For none can perish there.

Be Thou my Shield and Hiding Place,

That, sheltered by Thy side,

I may my fierce accuser face,

And tell him Thou hast died!

O wondrous love! to bleed and die,

To bear the cross and shame,

That guilty sinners, such as I,

Might plead Thy gracious name.

by John Newton

Flabby Dance, anyone?

This morning when I came downstairs, Noah was already on the couch.

 He looked at me and said, "Do you want to hear something totally insane?"

I'm always up for something totally insane so I was all in.

"I flabby danced with my pet flamingo on the 4th of July."

I asked him to repeat it to make sure I heard him correctly and indeed I had.

And that was that.

So, who's up for flabby dancing next 4th of July?

Because sometimes a list is all I can do

My brain is not working yet this morning. As evidenced by the fact that I just told Ellie to eat her cereal "without no milk." My 7th grade grammar teacher (I don't remember her last name - we called her "Myrtle") would be appalled. Maybe I truly need to go visit the big city more frequently. I think the country life is having negative effects on me.

I digress.

A list is about all I can muster this morning.

• Our new church had it's first official service and it was amazing. We had 150+ people attending. So excited to see what God is going to do!!
• Our new homeschool group? Amazing. We have all (Kyle included) made friends through this group and I'm so happy I decided to join.
• The leaves have started changing colors. Considering it was 97 degrees yesterday, that's just wrong.
• I yearn for the day when it's below 90. I'm told it will happen. I'm not so sure.
• The other day in the car, Noah realized that Johnny Diaz (the singer) and Matt Diaz (the Braves player) are brothers. He said as serious as ever, "Their mother must be SO proud!"
• The country is starting to feel more like home. We are settling in and adjusting to life in a small town. 
• Today is the first day of fall. Bring on the apples, pumpkins, bake-a-thons, and weight!
• Speaking of weight, I'm in week 5 of my couch to 5K training program. I'm running a 5K on Oct. 23. And I'm still not to that euphoric place that my friends are at where all the world is good and right when they run. 

I must go get Lucas out of bed so we're not doing school at dinner tonight. 

I leave you with this question: Besides cereal and oatmeal are there any quick breakfast ideas out there? I'm not one for cooking at 7:30am. Need ideas!

it's a wild life

I've always prided (am I making up new words, here?) myself on being "outdoorsy". I grew up in the country. I was outside from sun up to sun down every day possible. I love hiking and being in the mountains. I'm moving up the success ladder of tent camping - on the still-need-a-real-toilet-but-can-do- without-a-shower level.  I was the organizer of many Cedar Grove community frog races and an avid collector of bugs back in the day. Having 3 boys who would live in a tent and chase bugs 24/7 if it were up to them has brought me much joy.

But put a spider or snake or mouse within a mile of me and chaos will ensue.

When we moved out of suburbia, I knew our chances of wildlife viewing would be much greater. I just had no idea that on a daily basis I would be encountering every species of bug known to man. Roaches? Got 'em. Little tiny unknown black bugs? Yep. Ants? Sure thing. Worms? Much to my boys' delight. Spiders? Way too many for my comfort level. Snakes? Not until today.

Yesterday the boys came running in to let me know they had found something that I! HAD! TO! SEE!!! I ran outside to find this in his nice geometrical web between two trees.                                                



I knew we had happened upon a rare rainforest species of insect, but turns out it's just a common Spinybacked Orbweaver. Common or not, that creepy thing was not what I wanted 30 feet from my house, but the boys convinced me to leave it. Last check it was still there hanging out. Pun intended.

This morning we were outside for PE (I use that term loosely). I saw some Ivy that was growing into the yard, so I grabbed a piece of the vine and pulled. When I did a section of pinestraw was moved. I saw something and wondered how a piece of rope got under the pinestraw. As I got closer I noticed that rope was coiled up and had a head and eyes and wriggled around. I tried not to scream. Really, I did. Two of my children came running to see. One ran inside with a vow to never return and one stood still. I think he though if he didn't move the snake may not see him.



So it turns out that snake is not poisonous. It's a common Brown snake. Common. Like the Spinybacked Orbweaver. Last check it was not there. Which makes me a bit anxious. As does the knowledge that these snakes have 3-30 young in late summer.

If you need me I'll be duct taping any open vents and cracks leading from the backyard into my house.