Dear birthmothers everywhere,
I was reminded today that Sunday is "Sanctity of Human Life Sunday" in our churches. And while many churches will show emotional vidoes speaking out against abortion, or have a handout with the latest abortion statistics stuck in the bulletin (only to be thrown on the floor or left behind in the chair), or mention how much God hates abortion (which He does, by the way), probably very, very few will mention you. However, you are never far off in my thoughts.
As an adoptee, I certainly appreciate my own birthmother and her sacrifice. She wasn't married and didn't have the greatest support system. Raising me alone would have been extremely hard. I wasn't what she had asked for. I wasn't conceived the way she hoped her first child would be. I definitely wasn't part of her future plans. Abortion would have been the easy way out. Getting rid of "the problem" would have been the world's answer for her. But, you see, just like the rest of you, she didn't see me as a problem to erase. She saw me as a life that mattered, not something to be thrown away. And I'm forever grateful that she did.
As a mother of biological children, I cannot imagine the sacrifice of giving a child up for adoption. After carrying a child for 9 months, feeling the kicks and movements inside of you. Knowing that this baby - who was infintely more than a wad of tissue at the moment of conception - is part of you. Part of your DNA. Yet, knowing that another woman would be called Mommy. Knowing that you would not raise the one that made you uncomfortable at night, gave you heartburn and swollen ankles, and 25 extra pounds. Then, laboring to deliver this same child. Hearing his first cry. Seeing her smushed, wrinkled, beautiful face, but handing her over to someone else. I just cannot imagine the sacrifice and amount of selflessness that requires.
As an adoptive mom, I am eternally grateful to a woman I don't know. I look at my feisty Eliana. Her dark eyes that sparkle with each smile. I watch her facial expressions, hear her giggles, see her victories and cry with her in her heartbreak, and I think about her birthmother far away in another country. Does she wonder about her little girl every day? Does she think about what she looks like now? Does she worry if she's safe and happy? I want to tell her, yes! But, more than that, I want to say thank you. Our prayers for a little girl were answered by you. God used you to give us what we longed for. Thank you for seeing her life as one not to be wasted. She is a dynamic, strong-willed little girl who God is going to use in mighty ways. Thank you for your sacrifice.
Birthmothers, know that you are special. You are loved. Thank you.
On your side,
Rebecca