Dear Noah, 

Fourteen years ago, you surprised us by entering the world 6 weeks early. Time has flown by and you have gone from the tiniest baby I've ever seen to a young man who is taller than me. You continue to amaze us with your insight, your witty humor, and your passion for truth. You have always been content to stay in the background, and I admit, sometimes you get overlooked. Your quiet nature and love for alone time don't give you the edge at being noticed in this crazy house full of people. But when you decide to talk, I stop and listen because it's probably something profound - or it's going to send me on a wild chase to find the answer to a question I never even would have thought to ask. 

At 14, you love all things technology related. Your biggest love right now is computer programming. You have taught yourself Java - and some other things I didn't even know existed. You are very interested in how and why things work the way they do. I cannot ever answer your questions and feel like I repeat "google it" hundreds of times a day. 

You have taken up learning Swedish. I'm not exactly sure how this love for all things Nordic came about. Maybe it has something to do with the few many trips we've made to IKEA? You tell me that one day you want to live there (Sweden. Not IKEA.) - which I give you my full blessing to do because if I've got to travel to see you a few times a year, it might as well be a place like Sweden!

Noah, you have overcome more than anyone will ever know. I won't go into details here, because it's your story to share with the world, but this year has been a challenge for you. However, we have watched God prove his faithfulness and power in your life over and over. Remember, son, when you think back to these things, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made and loved completely. By your parents, of course, but by God even more. He has such amazing plans for you. Your dad and I cannot wait to see what those are!

I wasn't going to decorate a cake this year for your birthday. Honestly, I was trying to find the easiest route possible to a birthday cake. Which meant letting Martins take that job off my hands. It was not convenient for me to decorate a cake.  But when I suggested "How about we just run to Martins and see what they've got? Or, let's just do a pie! Or cookies!" The face looking back at me was the baby-faced, big-eyed 3 year old upset that he had fallen off his bike, and I remembered the promise I made to myself that your birthday would never get lost in the shuffle of the Christmas season. That even when it was easiest to do a quick "happy birthday" and the token double gift (this is for birthday AND Christmas) - we would sacrifice the time and effort to make your day special and to celebrate you. So, last night I made you a birthday cake with your specific directions. And I will continue to make you a birthday cake for as long as I'm able and you request it. You, my son, are a delight. You are a gift from God to us and all who know you. Today I celebrate you. 

I love you, Mom

10

Dear Ellie, 

Today you are 10. Double digits. Two whole hands. And although the calendar tells me this is true, my mind cannot grasp it. Because wasn't this just last week?

For 10 years, we have had the most amazing comic relief in our house. God gave you an extra dose of humor, and you have the ability to make us all double over in laughter. You love life and your laughter is contagious.

You love your family. You keep us all on our toes and know exactly which buttons to push for each of of us. But, you love deeply and serve us well. I can always count on you to take care of whoever is sick. You clear our dishes from the table and give mom and dad massages after a long day. And even though you give your brothers grief most days, they would be the first to stand up to anyone who dared to hurt you. 

You're the perfect balance of gentle and rough and tumble. You can be all girl for a while, and then wrestle with the boys - and win! You love horses, fingernail polish, unicorns, superheroes and hockey. If you've been watching My Little Pony, the next thing you'll choose is The Avengers. 

You struggle in school more than most people will ever know. I won't pretend this past year of homeschooling has been rainbows, because we both know that's a mighty big lie. But, we made it through and learned a lot about ourselves (and reading and math and spelling) and what God can do when we finally surrender to what He wants - or maybe that was just my lesson. 

I saw a quote by Shakespeare several years ago when you were younger that said "Though she be but little, she is fierce!" 

Baby girl, that is you. You may not be so little anymore, but that fierceness is there. You can do ANYTHING you put your mind to. You have always found a way to reach whatever goal is in front of you - whether its reaching the diaper cream while inside your crib during naptime or figuring out how to do a back flip, you have always accomplished whatever you decided you would accomplish. I pray you always remember that God is the one who lives in you enabling you to do those things.

Every once in a while, you'll write us a thank-you note that says "Thank you for adopting me." You've got it all wrong, though. You shouldn't be thanking us. We're the ones who are so full of gratitude to God for allowing us to parent you. You have added more laughter and joy to our family than we ever could have imagined. 

10 years old. It's only just the beginning, Ellie. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for you.

Happy birthday, my brown-eyed girl.

Love, 

Mama

Jacob takes over the blog

For the past few years, Jacob has been writing. And cooking. He has started and stopped so many "books" I have lost count and reads/watches everything food-related he possibly can. (He cooks very well too, which is a major reason I have begun running again!)  He finished a story for school this morning that combines both of his passions and gave me permission to share it. Enjoy!

Jakob and the Soldiers

    “Here you go, sir,” said Jakob as he handed a Jewish man a perfectly cooked beefstuk. He walked back into the kitchen or, as he called it, his kitchen.

    “Elmo, get down from there! Those cookies aren’t for you!” he said to his younger brother as he laughed. As Elmo finished his unauthorized snack, Jakob heard his mother approaching.

    “Hallo, could you please prepare some stamppot for the Jews?” she asked out of breath from her daily chores.

    “Ja” Jakob replied. 

    The Bakker family always possessed a full pantry of fresh vegetables, fruits, grains, and anything else they needed. They practically ran a restaurant with twenty mouths to feed everyday. In fact, the family decided earlier that year when they began hiding Jews from the Nazis, that if the Germans ever tried to enter their home they would pretend it was a restaurant. Just as Jakob was getting out mashed potatoes for the stamppot, he heard a knock on the heavy front door. 

    “Openstellen!” Jakob could tell who was at the door. He looked over at Elmo.

    “Get the guests upstairs…” he whispered 

    “Openstellen!” said the person at the door again as he banged on it. Elmo started to cry.

   “Tell Mama and Pa. It’ll all be OK. Now, hurry.” Jakob whispered again. This was the moment Jakob had been preparing for for a almost a year. He was ready. Or at least he thought so.

    Mama and Pa came bolting down the stairs as if there had been a fire.

    “Come in!” Mama said kindly just as she had rehearsed. 

They did, and right away Jakob could see it. The Nazi logo. It was right on the soldier’s helmets.

    “Hallo, welcome to Nederlands Restaurant!” said Mama, trying to sell a small dining room as a restaurant.

    “Where are the Jews?” questioned one of the soldiers immediately.

   “What Jews? This is Nederlands Restaurant. We have the best beefstuk in all of the Nederlands” said Mama.

    “Where are the Jews?” the other soldier questioned brutally. 

    “What jews?” Mama asked, convincingly.

    “Well, if this is a restaurant, who is the chef?” asked the second soldier much more calmly.

    “I am.” Jakob spoke up.

This got a roar out of the soldiers. Mama and Pa just stood with straight faces staring at the soldiers.

    “You are lying! A ten..” the first soldier started.

    “Eleven,” corrected Jakob.

    “....year old can not be the chef at a restaurant.” finished the first soldier, unbelievingly eyeing Jakob.

    “I am. Order something,” commanded Jakob.

    “For the both of us, two beefstuk, two stamppot, and two beers. I assume you have that in Nederlands Restaurant,” said the second soldier.

    “Yes sir! It’ll be right up,” said Jakob as he threw a towel onto his shoulder and walked into the kitchen.

    Jakob roughly chopped some andijvie and threw it in a pot with the mashed potatoes. Jakob had always loved this smell even before he was tall enough to see inside the pot.

He then fried a couple of strips of bacon and a few slices of rookworst with an onion. He threw all but the rookworst in the pot with the potatoes. This smell was even better than the last. Finally, to make it creamy and delicious, he added milk and butter.

He then made simple steaks. He seasoned them and then quickly cooked them in a cast iron pan. Dinner was served. Pa brought two bottles of beer into the dining room just as Jakob brought in the beautiful looking plates. Mama sighed, relaxed at the site of the plates.

    “Maybe the boy is a cook,” whispered the first soldier to the second, looking at the plates.

    “Elmo seems quiet,” thought Jakob curiously.

    “Eet smakelijk,” said Mama encouraging them to enjoy their meal.

The first soldier tasted the stamppot. His eyes bulged.

    “This is wonderful!” he exclaimed. The other soldier nudged him. He had just cut into the beefstuk.

    “The beefstuk is raw and bland!” yelled the second soldier.

    “I apologize,” said Jakob, frightened, which was unusual for him. “I’ll make it up to you, free dessert.”

    “If your pudding is good, we’ll be gone,” said the second soldier sternly.

Jakob had been practicing making pudding earlier, and it turned out great. There were leftovers, so all he had to do was put it in bowls. He wished he could remake it, but he used the last of the sugar making it earlier.  He spooned the pudding into bowls and put it in the oven. He prayed it would be good.  After it had reheated he brought the dessert to the soldiers.  They both just stared at it. The second soldier picked up his spoon, as did the first. The second soldier picked up a little bite with his spoon, as did the first. They both tasted it. 

    “This is…” said the second soldier, he paused, “absolutely…” he paused again, “delicious.”

Jakob, Mama, and Pa all smiled at the same time. The first soldier shouted something in german. A third soldier walked down the stairs with someone Jakob knew.  Elmo! The third soldier responded in german. Jakob only knew one word the third soldier said. Boy.

    “He scared me.” said Elmo, hugging Pa’s leg.

Pa wanted to become hostile, but knew that would only provoke the soldiers. Pa spoke german and knew that the Nazis were talking about Elmo.

    “What did you tell them, son?” Pa whispered to Elmo.

    “Nothing, they asked me about the…” he whispered back.

    “Shhhh!” Pa told Elmo.

    “We are leaving. There are no Jews here,” the third soldier said in dutch.

With that, they left. No interrogation, no fights, and best of all no prisons.

Thank you, God. prayed Jakob.

    “Jakob,” said Mama, “go clean up.”

community

I'm an introvert. All I need is a room to myself and a book. And snacks.  And a window. This hermit needs a window so I don't feel trapped.

I fight daily against the tendency to stay at home and speak to no one. Some days I don't win that battle. Oh, I'll talk. My people at home don't allow me to be silent. Beyond answering questions, teaching, and settling arguments, there isn't a whole lot of conversing being done.

But, I've come to realize that the days I spend out of my comfort zone are so much better than when I choose to hide from the world. And rightly so - God didn't create me - or anyone - to live in solitary confinement.

After he made Adam he said "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him." Gen 2:18

If I keep reading, I see:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecc 4:9-12

Over and over, I am learning that God made us to be part of community. Meaningful relationships are not only healthy, they're also very necessary.

So, I'll continue to push myself past the point of my comfort. I'll talk to the neighbor I don't know. I'll invite others into my home - determined to build deeper relationships. I'll take the time to encourage the mother with a baby on her hip and a toddler struggling to keep in step behind her because I've already walked that road. I'll call that friend that God brings to my mind - even when it means I give up my "me" time.

I can't ignore my introvert side. After all, God created me with that personality. But, at the same time, I'm learning that I cannot use that as an excuse to not be in relationships with those that God has put in my life.

What's God been showing you lately?