2016

I have typed and deleted and typed and deleted over and over and over tonight. I have so many stories to tell about this past year, but nothing seems right after I put it in words.

2016 will go down in Brogdon history as the year that tried to conquer us. From beginning to end, it has been a very difficult year for our entire family. We have journeyed through job loss and uprooting our family - against our greatest desire -  to move to a new state. We have navigated situations and circumstances that will probably never be told publicly but have been incredibly dark days. As a result, we are still walking through grief, anger, bitterness, depression, severe anxiety, fear, and sadness. It has been an extremely long, hard year.

I saw a sign the other day that read "There is always, always, always something to be thankful for." A year ago, I would have smiled and said "Yes! Preach it, Mr. (or Mrs.) sign-maker!" But the other day I read it and said to myself "Really? Always? Nope." If I'm honest, that's how my attitude has been more often than not this year. Many times, I have refused to acknowledge that I have anything to be grateful for. But that day, after I thought about the sign for a while, I realized that even in the midst of suffering, even in the dark days, not only can I find something to be thankful for, but, if I believe what I say I believe, then I should always be giving thanks. 

1 Thessalonians 5:18 "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus."

As God brought that verse to my mind in the middle of Hobby Lobby,  I began thinking of things I can be grateful for this year until I was finally able to say "Yes. There is always something to be thankful for." These are just a few of the highlights of my list.

• God provided financially for us the entire time Kyle was without a job.
• Our VA house sold within 2 weeks.
• We found a house quickly in a very aggressive, competitive market.
• God has given us an amazing church and community of friends.
• The dark days are beginning to lift and light is shining through.

The song "Thy Will Be Done" by Hillary Scott has been an anthem for me this year. I can't say it any better, so I'm just copying the lyrics here.

I'm so confused

I know I heard you loud and clear

So, I followed through

Somehow I ended up here

I don't wanna think

I may never understand

That my broken heart is a part of your plan

When I try to pray

All I've got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done

I know you're good

But this don't feel good right now

And I know you think

Of things I could never think about

It's hard to count it all joy

Distracted by the noise

Just trying to make sense

Of all your promises

Sometimes I gotta stop

Remember that you're God

And I am not

So Thy will be done

I know you see me

I know you hear me, Lord

Your plans are for me

Goodness you have in store

As tough as this year has been, our family knows that God sees us, hears us, loves us, and is good. We are trusting Him to redeem the hurt and dark places and bring joy. He is the only reason for our hope. We enter 2017 with eagerness to see what He has in store for our good and for His glory. 

With Love,

Kyle, Rebecca, Lucas (16), Noah (15), Jacob (13), & Ellie (11)

move

We arrived in Richmond in July of 2013 full of excitement and awe at how God had orchestrated this move for our family. Kyle was working a dream job, with a dream organization, in a dream location. 

We immediately fell in love with Richmond and the surrounding area. We felt at home, and the kids had no problems adjusting to our new life. 

Just a few short months after our move, we found ourselves in the home of dear friends in Atlanta signing our name on their calendar with a Sharpie stating that we would never move again. (evidently 6 houses in 3 states in 14 years isn't the norm) We had found exactly where God wanted us to be. This was our sweet spot, and we could not have been happier. 

Over the next 2.5 years, we fell even more in love with our city, our neighborhood, our church, and the community of people we had found. Kyle loved his job and knew this was exactly where God wanted him. We planned to be here forever. Our grandchildren would come to this house to visit. Lucas was picking out surrounding colleges to start looking into. Life was good.

But our plans were interrupted in January of this year. With no warning, Kyle's entire communications department of 30 people was eliminated. In the span of an hour, our plans came to a screeching halt.

Suddenly, Kyle was cast into the job search market. Sure, he had done this before. But every other time had been his (our) decision. While we looked desperately for job opportunities in Richmond, we soon realized that all of his active job possibilities were out of the area. Far out of the area. As in "too Many hours away to commute" out of the area.  It became clear that we would most likely have to move. Again, we're no strangers to moving. But, again, every other time this had been our decision. This time it felt forced upon us, and that didn't seem fair or right.

The last several months have been filled with times of anger, grief, anxiety, and confusion. Why did this happen? Why was this decision made? We questioned leadership's wisdom. We fought against bitterness. We have cried. We have screamed. We have sat by our kids' beds many hours trying to console them while they grieved leaving a church, school, and close friends they love. I would love to say this season has been handled with much grace, but if I'm honest, I have to say that although there have been moments we were filled with much grace, there have also been moments that were handled straight out of the flesh and broken places in our hearts. Yet, God has been faithful to meet us in those moments.

Kyle was blessed with many interviews at a variety of places. We were thankful for the options but prayed constantly that God would take every job opportunity away except one, so that it would be clear that was the way we should go. And He answered. In April, Kyle accepted a job with Lifeway Christian Resources in Nashville, TN. 

Initially, there was not a whole lot of excitement from me. While I was incredibly grateful to see God provide for us (it had been 4 very long months of job searching), I was still reeling from MY plans and MY dreams being shaken. I fought against this move with every fiber of my being.

Until I picked up the book Girl Meets Change and read this:

"....and even though I didn't feel ready to accept this change, I could acknowledge that God's hand was in this move. Oh, I could also still acknowledge that this move was incredibly hard. ...... I told the kids it was okay and normal to be sad for a while. But it was also okay to keep biblical truth tucked inside our hearts as well, truth that said God directed the next place we were to live, not Uncle Sam. Truth that said if God wants our family somewhere else, it's for our ultimate best. Truth that said while I felt miserable today because of this move, his promise held hope I wouldn't feel miserable forever."

I read that with tears streaming down my face and knew God was speaking those words directly to me. He had everything under control, and though I didn't - and still don't - understand, I could trust Him.

The light at the end of the tunnel is just now beginning to peek through. God is working in our family, and hope is starting to take root. In two weeks, our family will load up and drive the long drive to Hendersonville, TN to start a new season of our life. There will probably be tears, and a little bit of feeling miserable. BUT, we will hold on tightly to the truth that God is sovereign and works everything for our good and His glory.

There are good things in store. Look out Nashville, here we come!