Jacob takes over the blog

For the past few years, Jacob has been writing. And cooking. He has started and stopped so many "books" I have lost count and reads/watches everything food-related he possibly can. (He cooks very well too, which is a major reason I have begun running again!)  He finished a story for school this morning that combines both of his passions and gave me permission to share it. Enjoy!

Jakob and the Soldiers

    “Here you go, sir,” said Jakob as he handed a Jewish man a perfectly cooked beefstuk. He walked back into the kitchen or, as he called it, his kitchen.

    “Elmo, get down from there! Those cookies aren’t for you!” he said to his younger brother as he laughed. As Elmo finished his unauthorized snack, Jakob heard his mother approaching.

    “Hallo, could you please prepare some stamppot for the Jews?” she asked out of breath from her daily chores.

    “Ja” Jakob replied. 

    The Bakker family always possessed a full pantry of fresh vegetables, fruits, grains, and anything else they needed. They practically ran a restaurant with twenty mouths to feed everyday. In fact, the family decided earlier that year when they began hiding Jews from the Nazis, that if the Germans ever tried to enter their home they would pretend it was a restaurant. Just as Jakob was getting out mashed potatoes for the stamppot, he heard a knock on the heavy front door. 

    “Openstellen!” Jakob could tell who was at the door. He looked over at Elmo.

    “Get the guests upstairs…” he whispered 

    “Openstellen!” said the person at the door again as he banged on it. Elmo started to cry.

   “Tell Mama and Pa. It’ll all be OK. Now, hurry.” Jakob whispered again. This was the moment Jakob had been preparing for for a almost a year. He was ready. Or at least he thought so.

    Mama and Pa came bolting down the stairs as if there had been a fire.

    “Come in!” Mama said kindly just as she had rehearsed. 

They did, and right away Jakob could see it. The Nazi logo. It was right on the soldier’s helmets.

    “Hallo, welcome to Nederlands Restaurant!” said Mama, trying to sell a small dining room as a restaurant.

    “Where are the Jews?” questioned one of the soldiers immediately.

   “What Jews? This is Nederlands Restaurant. We have the best beefstuk in all of the Nederlands” said Mama.

    “Where are the Jews?” the other soldier questioned brutally. 

    “What jews?” Mama asked, convincingly.

    “Well, if this is a restaurant, who is the chef?” asked the second soldier much more calmly.

    “I am.” Jakob spoke up.

This got a roar out of the soldiers. Mama and Pa just stood with straight faces staring at the soldiers.

    “You are lying! A ten..” the first soldier started.

    “Eleven,” corrected Jakob.

    “....year old can not be the chef at a restaurant.” finished the first soldier, unbelievingly eyeing Jakob.

    “I am. Order something,” commanded Jakob.

    “For the both of us, two beefstuk, two stamppot, and two beers. I assume you have that in Nederlands Restaurant,” said the second soldier.

    “Yes sir! It’ll be right up,” said Jakob as he threw a towel onto his shoulder and walked into the kitchen.

    Jakob roughly chopped some andijvie and threw it in a pot with the mashed potatoes. Jakob had always loved this smell even before he was tall enough to see inside the pot.

He then fried a couple of strips of bacon and a few slices of rookworst with an onion. He threw all but the rookworst in the pot with the potatoes. This smell was even better than the last. Finally, to make it creamy and delicious, he added milk and butter.

He then made simple steaks. He seasoned them and then quickly cooked them in a cast iron pan. Dinner was served. Pa brought two bottles of beer into the dining room just as Jakob brought in the beautiful looking plates. Mama sighed, relaxed at the site of the plates.

    “Maybe the boy is a cook,” whispered the first soldier to the second, looking at the plates.

    “Elmo seems quiet,” thought Jakob curiously.

    “Eet smakelijk,” said Mama encouraging them to enjoy their meal.

The first soldier tasted the stamppot. His eyes bulged.

    “This is wonderful!” he exclaimed. The other soldier nudged him. He had just cut into the beefstuk.

    “The beefstuk is raw and bland!” yelled the second soldier.

    “I apologize,” said Jakob, frightened, which was unusual for him. “I’ll make it up to you, free dessert.”

    “If your pudding is good, we’ll be gone,” said the second soldier sternly.

Jakob had been practicing making pudding earlier, and it turned out great. There were leftovers, so all he had to do was put it in bowls. He wished he could remake it, but he used the last of the sugar making it earlier.  He spooned the pudding into bowls and put it in the oven. He prayed it would be good.  After it had reheated he brought the dessert to the soldiers.  They both just stared at it. The second soldier picked up his spoon, as did the first. The second soldier picked up a little bite with his spoon, as did the first. They both tasted it. 

    “This is…” said the second soldier, he paused, “absolutely…” he paused again, “delicious.”

Jakob, Mama, and Pa all smiled at the same time. The first soldier shouted something in german. A third soldier walked down the stairs with someone Jakob knew.  Elmo! The third soldier responded in german. Jakob only knew one word the third soldier said. Boy.

    “He scared me.” said Elmo, hugging Pa’s leg.

Pa wanted to become hostile, but knew that would only provoke the soldiers. Pa spoke german and knew that the Nazis were talking about Elmo.

    “What did you tell them, son?” Pa whispered to Elmo.

    “Nothing, they asked me about the…” he whispered back.

    “Shhhh!” Pa told Elmo.

    “We are leaving. There are no Jews here,” the third soldier said in dutch.

With that, they left. No interrogation, no fights, and best of all no prisons.

Thank you, God. prayed Jakob.

    “Jakob,” said Mama, “go clean up.”

community

I'm an introvert. All I need is a room to myself and a book. And snacks.  And a window. This hermit needs a window so I don't feel trapped.

I fight daily against the tendency to stay at home and speak to no one. Some days I don't win that battle. Oh, I'll talk. My people at home don't allow me to be silent. Beyond answering questions, teaching, and settling arguments, there isn't a whole lot of conversing being done.

But, I've come to realize that the days I spend out of my comfort zone are so much better than when I choose to hide from the world. And rightly so - God didn't create me - or anyone - to live in solitary confinement.

After he made Adam he said "It is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him." Gen 2:18

If I keep reading, I see:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken." Ecc 4:9-12

Over and over, I am learning that God made us to be part of community. Meaningful relationships are not only healthy, they're also very necessary.

So, I'll continue to push myself past the point of my comfort. I'll talk to the neighbor I don't know. I'll invite others into my home - determined to build deeper relationships. I'll take the time to encourage the mother with a baby on her hip and a toddler struggling to keep in step behind her because I've already walked that road. I'll call that friend that God brings to my mind - even when it means I give up my "me" time.

I can't ignore my introvert side. After all, God created me with that personality. But, at the same time, I'm learning that I cannot use that as an excuse to not be in relationships with those that God has put in my life.

What's God been showing you lately?

2014

Someone told me once "the days go by slowly, but the years fly by." Or something like that. Whatever the exact wording, it's so very true. I'm not sure the rule really goes into effect until you're older than 30, but it seems every year about this time I stop and think "Well. That was fast."

This year has found us venturing into the beautiful, broken world of foster care, walking with my dad through his cancer diagnosis, changing school situations and churches, falling more in love with our city and neighborhood, and increasing the total number of teenagers in our home from one to two. 

2014 has definitely been a roller coaster. We've seen God work in our family, in other families, in our city, and in other nations in great ways. We've also had moments of begging Him to break the silence and show us His glory. We've questioned circumstances and celebrated victories. We've watched our kids grow in their knowledge of the gospel and tried our best to guide them through deep anxiety and doubts. While Kyle and I celebrated 15 years of marriage this year, we've also had to cry out to Him to unite us and heal broken places in our marriage.

I love taking time to look back. God often tells us in scripture to not forget what He has done. I want to be reminded of how He has worked and be able to tell my children what God has done. Looking back reminds me of His goodness.

I'm not as good at looking forward. Thinking about the future can fill me with worry and fear unless I remember that my God is sovereign.  I desire to be the woman who "laughs without fear of the future."  So I'm anticipating 2015 and whatever is ahead because I know that whatever God has planned is for His glory.

"The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." - Psalm 126:3

The kids were thrilled with our first winter in VA! Lots of snows days. 

homeschool day at the capitol

Williamsburg

Jamestown

We've been working on the house since we moved in. The half-bath/laundry room was my winter project.

Tired of fighting with blogger to rotate this picture. Ellie finished 2nd grade at Watkins Elementary in June and started 3rd grade at home this year.

We took Kyle's brother and sis-in-law to DC in the spring.

Busch Gardens

Another picture that won't rotate. This is a picture our oldest foster daughter drew of her new "family." Foster care is definitely not for the faint-of-heart.

We spent the 4th of July at Kyle's parents' beach house. Ellie was a little melancholy that day. 

Jacob and I got to spend part of the 4th at urgent care with a badly infected elbow wound (from falling off his scooter).

We've watched this boy grow into an over 6 foot tall 14 year old this year!

First day of 9th, 7th, 6th, and 3rd grades

The boys and I at a Richmond Flying Squirrels baseball game

Merry Christmas from the Brogdons!

homeschool

Ellie has struggled with learning since she was a toddler. At age two, we had a speech therapist and an early childhood specialist in our home twice a week to work with her, in addition to everything we did on a daily basis. She went to preschool at ages 3 and 4, but when the time came for her to enter kindergarten, we decided to keep her at home an extra year. Surely, with an extra year to mature and do preschool work at home, she'd be ready for school.

The following year, we paused our homeschool journey to attend a private school. During this year, it became apparent that something more than just immaturity was going on. She was tested and received the diagnosis of "specific learning disability." The next two years, for first and second grade, she attended public school where she was eligible for special services. 

Last year, in the most wonderful school I've ever been a part of, with incredibly kind, supportive, competent teachers, I was told she did not meet our district's "learning disability" qualifications, and they would need to pull all services she had been receiving. Sitting at a conference table with teachers, special education specialists, school psychologists, social workers, and administrators, I heard each one express how concerned they were that Ellie would not succeed without these services in place. However, they were insistent that their hands were tied and there was nothing they could offer her.

They were correct. Ellie did not succeed. It was an uphill battle for the last half of the year. After much prayer, discussion, and uncertainty, we decided to bring her home this year. 

We are four weeks into school and I can say, without a doubt, that this is the most frustrating thing I have ever done. There have been many tears shed from both of us multiple times a day. She takes two baby steps forward and then 50 leaps backward.

I told a friend the other day how exceedingly hard this is. She said "What if Ellie coming home wasn't just for you to teach Ellie? What if God brought her home to teach you something?"

And I burst into tears. Partly because I'm almost 40 years old and the hormones are definitely not balanced. But mostly because she had just spoken TRUTH into my life.

God brought Ellie home. Not me. Not Kyle. And not the school system. And I can tell you with utmost certainty that while it is very good for Ellie, it is mostly for my good. You see,  the very ugly truth is that I am a sinful, selfish person.  I work best when everything goes according to my plan. I lose patience with people who don't keep in line with my expectations. I react out of anger when my plans fail, and I'm just generally not a nice person.  I have to ask forgiveness daily for telling God what I have planned and expecting Him to get on the same page.

Homeschooling Ellie forces me to cry out to God to show me His plans,  because mine? They don't even come close to succeeding. There is no way I can parent or homeschool this beautiful, creative, energetic, passionate daughter of mine on my own. I forget that multiple times an hour, but I'm so grateful I have a God who offers grace no matter how many times I fail.

Maybe by May, I'll have it all figured out.

But probably not.

Well. Four months can go by as fast as a greased pig. Not that I've ever had experience with greased pigs, but it seems like a fitting analogy. I could certainly win "Most Inconsistent Blogger of the Year" award. I'm not promising this post will lead to a blogging marathon, but I am hoping to write more frequently.

In the last four months, we have said goodbye to our fosters, found out my dad has cancer, visited friends and family from Virginia to Georgia to Mississippi, celebrated Jacob's 11th, Ellie's 9th and Lucas' 14th birthdays, and started school. It's been quite a busy summer!

We are now knee-deep in school, soccer, music lessons, and church activities. Lucas began high school this year, which I'm not certain I still fully grasp. He is taking half his classes at a homeschool co-op. He loves being with friends and having a teacher besides Mom, and I love that I'm not dissecting frogs or pigs in my kitchen. Win-win. Jacob and Noah are still fully at home. I think I'll have to pry them away in a couple of years to take classes out the house. Ellie is at home this year as well, after three years of public school. I have much to say about that, but it will have to wait. There is a whole lot of commotion going on that probably needs my attention.

Pushing through

When I'm running, hills are my nemesis. I hate them. Until recently, I would often just give up and walk until I was at the top. And then one day my wiser-than-I-am husband said "Don't give up. Put your head down, run and just push through" I admit I wasn't quick to take his advice. But, recently, I have been. You know what? It works. Sure it doesn't make it easy. It's still just as hard. But with my eyes looking only a step ahead of me, I am able to just push through and get to the top without giving up. 

This week of fostering has been like running up a hill. A very steep, incredibly long, no-end-in-sight hill. 

Tantrums and the silent treatment have left me bewildered, exhausted, and second guessing this decision. 

Yes, we've had some great laughs, fun, and breakthroughs. Probably more of them than the negative behaviors we see. And I will be sure to document those soon. 

But those negative behaviors can seem insurmountable in the middle of the moment.   

So I've taken a cue from running to get up this hill. I've just put my head down and am pushing through. We aren't at the top. I'm not sure we ever will be. Even in exhaustion, confusion and, yes, sometimes anger at the situation, I know God hasn't left us to do this alone. He loves these girls. He has equipped us. He is our strength. He is our hope. 

And with my eyes focused on that, and not the top of the hill, I can keep pushing through. 

Pray for us and the girls, please. Our God is able. 

Beautiful and broken

A few days ago, two little people walked into our home for the first time. Scared, confused, and not exactly happy to be here.

We smiled, welcomed them in and tried to make things seem normal. But we all felt it. This was anything but normal.

It's not normal to be taken away from your family. It's not normal to walk into a stranger's home and be expected to be a part of the family. It's not normal for that family to accept you with no conditions. 

No. Nothing about this is normal. But, it's reality everyday across the United States.

Our world is a very broken place. And in this part of the world, we try to remedy some of that brokenness with foster care. It's beautiful and restoring and healing. But it's also broken and heart wrenching and just. plain. hard. It shouldn't be needed. But it is.

We believe God calls us all to care for orphans and those who can't care for themselves, and this is how we will respond to that for a season. We are taking a risk and stepping out of our comfort zone. The past 4 days have been hard and emotional and exhausting. Will it be easy? No. Will we want to give up? We've already wanted to. Will it be worth the investment? Totally. Still - we're excited and scared and unsure of the months to come. 

But one thing we know - as broken as our world and this process are, our God is bigger. He can bring healing to these children and their family, and that is our prayer. Will you join us in praying for them?