One of those days

Years ago when I thought about being a wife and mother I had visions of sugary sweet children who lavished their love, affection, and eternal gratitude on me. Kids who were always neat, clean, and obedient. Our home would always smell of freshly baked goods and dirt would not be found inside. Our pets would be non-shedding, non-barking, perfect angels to accompany my delusions. I would have gourmet meals prepared for dinner every night and my kids would never eat junk food.

HUH??

Here's reality. I present to you my day.

I woke up an hour late this morning due to the exhaustion of a child coughing all night. Kyle found a gash on the dog's leg as he brought him in from going potty this morning in the flood outside (it's been raining continuously for 3 days now). I called the vet as I was fixing Ellie's lunch for preschool. Of course I had to bring him in as they couldn't tell me anything on the phone.

I grabbed some clothes for the kids and myself, loaded up 4 kids and a dog and took Ellie to school. Then we headed for the vet.

I asked if I could leave the dog and pick him up later. I was told I had to wait. So I waited. Feeling guilty for not being home "doing school" we had a spelling bee in the waiting room. Then we figured out 19 + 19 mentally. We talked about vets and what they do. An hour and $$$ later we left with Max and his stapled, bandaged leg and one of those cone shaped collars so he wouldn't bother it. I was told he had to wear this for at least 3 days. Yeah. Ok.

We got back home and discovered that Max was not going along with the cone collar fashion. He took it off no less than 10 times and I put it back on him each time. He ran into the walls so many times he started just standing in one place and not moving with his tail tucked between his legs. He wouldn't eat, drink, or pee. So I took the collar off. Someone had to sit by his crate every second to make sure he didn't chew his bandage. Not going to work. Put the collar back on this time accompanied by lots and lots of masking tape. I threw a frozen pizza into the oven and called it lunch.

Went to pick up Ellie. We stopped by the library to get some books and make me feel as if I was doing something to educate my kids. Of course, Noah had forgotten his shoes (see previous post). So here I head across the parking lot carrying my 7 year old and corralling everyone else in the rain. The kids were horrid in the library. The check out machine wasn't working well. As we were waiting on the librarian to bring us our DVDs Ellie dumped out the basket of 43 books onto the floor. I put her in time out in the chair and she started screaming and kicking and crying. I can't put into words how loud this is - you just have to experience it. I pack up the books and start to leave, she refuses to come, and as I walk through the doors, the book alarm goes off. We turn around and head to the desk so they can go through all 43 books one by one to see which one set off the alarm. All the while ellie is still in the chair screaming and the boys are playing chase around the stand of newspapers.

We get home and I take off the dog's collar so he will go potty and drink some water. I'm putting the collar back on which involves lots of tape and a 46 pound dog trying to sprint away, the kids are helping themselves to yogurt, Ellie runs in and shows me her painted yogurt face and the phone rings. Somehow I answer it and a staff member from church says "Hey Rebecca - is this a good time?"

I had to laugh so I wouldn't cry. Still trying to manage the dog I hold a conversation about finding nursery workers for the extra Easter services we're having.

As I hang up the phone I realized it's almost 4:00, I've failed at homeschooling today, my kids will be stupid and never get into college, I haven't had a shower today and am gross, dinner needs to be cooked and kids bathed because we have home group tonight.

Piece of cake.